Here is something that I have sought, received and yet cannot measure – it’s validation. We seek it in many areas of life. We long for our parents, business partners, friends, colleagues and even our kids to say – “You matter!”
Men and women of great minds and those of absolutely average minds have all wrestled with the same question, ‘do I matter’? Sadly the answer to this question and the wrestling to the answer have brought some people to a state of desperation and depression. I reflect on my own parents and grandparents wondering what difference did they make? What difference will I make? Where’s the hope for this part of our story?
If you have been to an art gallery, museum or places of historical significance you will often discover the stories of the average person doing extraordinary things. It’s only from the perspective of time that we know if, the decisions we make and the action we take, make a difference to others. Perhaps these “others” are yet unborn. We cannot realize ALL the implications our decisions and actions in the moment. Only in the future, do we gain perspective but sometimes we never know.
There is a lot written about gaining balance in your life. Everyone has their story and I’m happy to share mine.
In the early years of starting our home building business, 60 hour weeks were the norm! When we hired staff 10 years later, long workweeks were STILL the norm. There was never enough time to get everything done at work. Work was cheating my family time. It was nearly impossible to achieve the elusive work life balance.
Picture the work life balance like a scale…one side wins and the other side loses. We need to learn to “cheat” at work and stop cheating at home. We often cheat our family by spending too much time at work, or on fitness, or a hobby. Cut back on being so “busy” and be balanced!
Most of us have used a GPS – so we know about the importance of the destination input. If you want to get where you want – you need to know where you want to go and follow the path! I’ve met many people who work at a job that offers security, opportunity for advancement, or lots of money. Many of them drag themselves to work each day and it ends up being something they dread. They had a burning passion to do something they loved, but for whatever reason, did not follow that dream. My good friend, Mike, works in ‘high tech’. He often asked if he could work with me. From an early age, all he wanted to do was build houses. For a variety of reasons, he has not ended up where he expected, nor intended. He lost direction in life.
Why is it that good intentioned, smart people, with admirable life goals, often are not where they intended, they’re not reaching their goals? Why is it that many people with a clear idea direction in life end up far from their intended destination? Has this happened to you in one area of your life?
First in the series, Destinations then in his book The Principle of the Path, author Andy Stanley talks about how to get from where you are, to where you want to be. We have all lost direction in life in one area for a period of time.